Meaning Behind Tattoo Number Two

"I'm gonna love you forever that's just my curse it's whatever."

Those lyrics are tattooed on my right forearm. They are song lyrics from the song, "F U Till I F U" by Call Me Karizma

People think that is because of my ex fiance. People who don't know me assume it is because of a broken relationship. I am not gonna sit here and lie when I say I don't think of my ex or because of another broken relationship.

I've loved a handful of people in my life. A few I dated and a few not. Those people I do think of every once in awhile. When I love someone, I love them hard. There is always tears shed or just something.

It is a curse. Cue my point. I heard this song and it spoke to me. It made me think of all the people I have ever loved in my life. I thought that I would always love them a little bit. It's whatever. That is the reason why I got that tattoo. I got it for every person in my life that I spent loving them no mater how much I did.

Now lets talk about the elephant in the room that everyone thinks it is about.

I fell in love when I was nineteen years old. I just had gotten out of a controlling relationship and I was hanging out with this guy from work. We started seeing each other and things were great. He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. My family loved him and his family loved me(I hope)

We talked about a future and I could see a future with him. He proposed and I said yes. I screwed it up. I did somethings that will haunt me for the rest of my life. We tried to work things out and it ended up not working out.

It broke my heart. I will never forget moving out and crying my eyes out.

It still breaks my heart but from what I have learned you can't force someone to love you. You can't force them to come back to you no matter what. Love is complicated and scary and crazy.

I love that blue eyed boy still and everyone knows it. You can't just forget eleven months just magically. But he is not the reason for my tattoo. I got my tattoo for everyone who has a little piece of my heart.

I have meaning and reasoning for my tattoos. I look at them every single day and reflect on it.