Being bipolar is the most exhausting health conditions I have probably ever faced.
Constant mood swings and emotional break downs. No thanks.
Life is life though. I have actually am learning how to deal with it.
My life isn't easy. I wake up and take my meds. Then i sluggishly get ready for work. Will it be a good day or a bad day? Who knows?
I get to work very anxious. Every single day. I hope it is a good day but I do try to prepare myself for the worse.
Eight hours on my feet is exhausting. I come home happy that I don't work my second job but ready to lay in bed. It is a Monday so I wait to talk to my lds missionary friends. I get excited when they email and then I feel the little high of happiness fade.
My mind is all over the place. I suddenly get sad when I think about the past.
Backup. I am not gonna sit here and fill you in on the daily minds of me being bipolar.
It's real and it sucks. Somedays it sucks the life out of me.
It's ruined relationships and potential relationships. I overthink and make irrational decisions sometimes that cost me what I wanted the most.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without bipolar disorder but then I think about it and realize that I wouldn't be who I am without bipolar disorder. I have this mental disorder, it is apart of me.
It is a constant struggle and sometimes I don't win but other days I am laughing and smiling and it is like nothing is wrong.
It is something that will forever be with me.
I am not ashamed. I talk about my mental health to share my experiences and to shed some light about how mental health should be more talked about.
My life is forever changed and yeah somedays suck and somedays are the best. I wouldn't be alive without modern medicine but it is what it is.
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