The Story Never Ends

First of all, it has been a hot minute since I have made a blog post. I also feel like this one has been coming for a long time so bear with me.

I have spent the last two months falling in love with myself and life all over again. I went hiking for the first time in years, I put God in the front part of my life, I changed my schedule at work then got a new job(spoiler alert). For the first time in forever I put myself first and did things on my terms and not on anyone elses.

I cried. My gosh, I honestly didn't think I would ever stop crying. One of the things that I did that was important is that I stopped waiting. I didn't need the closure anymore. I stopped wondering why it happened. I stopped feelings like I needed to know. I pulled myself out of the depression that was killing me. All of my friends im sure were annoyed of the constant wondering but also super concerned of just how sad I was.

When hiking, my friend brought me to this wonderful waterfall. I remembering being 19 again and falling in love and living my best life. As complicated as being 19 was, I remember living my best life then. Ever since that day, I have been dedicated to living my best life. I promised myself and others that I would never feel that sad again.

I am not 100%. I still struggle. I am human right? I still miss that person, that period of time so deeply.

I was ranting to a dear friend who actually inspired this blog post, and she told me that it was normal to be sad over it. It is okay to miss the person and the time period because of the connection. For me that spoke so deeply and it hit so close to home. I have so many people in my life who told me that I need to just move on. I had so many people who just told me to forget all about it because it was bad.

Well it wasn't ALL bad. It was being treated bad at the end. There was good parts and I will treasure the good parts. It was laughing till late hours and sharing stories till we couldn't. Sharing favorite songs because sometimes you bond over music. Memories I miss with all of my heart BUT life moves on.

My story isn't over. This is another chapter that is bittersweet to close but I can't dwell on it forever.

I am at a point of my life where I am supposed to be living my best life. I will be damned if I don't. I refuse to hold anything back. I refuse to let anything get in my way.

I am going to live my best life and be happy again.