Always Home

Ohio will forever be near and dear to my heart. No matter what Ohio teaches me something that I am sure that I needed but at the time was too stubborn to realize. Here are somethings that being home has taught me.

• Home is Always Home:  I didn't realize how much I needed to be home until I was home. I didn't realize how much I needed to be around my family laughing about some joke or being roasted about something I did when I was younger until it happened.

• Life Moves On: For a girl who has been struggling with this over the last month this took until about a day before this was written to realize. No this isn't another rant about some dumb guy who broke my heart but yes that ties into that a little bit. My hometown town has barley changed since the last time I was really home. I drove around my high school and it had felt like an eternity since I was in school. I remembered the football field where I spent Friday nights during football season. I remembered running up a staircase before choir concerts. The thing that hit me the most is that my life has drastically changed. I wasn't the same girl in high school or even a year after high school. 

• People Change: The last time I was home, I wanted nothing more than to hang out with the same people that I hung out with before I moved to Vermont. Well, I learned REAL fast that people change and again their lives still continues. I got the chance to hang out with some people who I haven't seen in YEARS and when I mean years, I mean literally 2014 and 2016. Ow. My bad. Everyone goes through changes and deals with their own stuff. Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad.

• ALWAYS SPEND TIME WITH YOUR SIBLINGS: This is in all caps because I'm going to admit something. I spent Christmas time more focused "attempting" to catch up with old friends and getting upset when they couldn't then realizing that my best friends and the people who are always there were right in front of me. This trip, I spent a couple of hours individually with each of my siblings. Honestly? It has been a blast. I have loved spending that one on one time with them and just talking about whatever they wanted to and just focusing on them. I made memories with all of them that I hope we won't forget. 

• Nothing Goes According To Plan: I included this because again its what hits you hard the most. Sometimes, I think God laughs at me when I try to have a plan. This vacation, I planned ALOT of things. I planned a new tattoo. I planned on getting a laptop. I planned on avoiding my mother. I planned on being totally over the boy who broke my heart. You wanna know how much that happened?  None of it. I've learned from all of it. I spent some time with my mother and learned it's really better to keep her at a distance and move on. Continuing to be mad isn't going to get me far in life. Plans do fall through. And that boy? I don't think anyone truly realizes my feelings. Maybe people never will including him. It didn't work out and I am slowly(very slowly) trying to move on with the rest of my life.

• Never Forget Who You Are: I think before I came home, I was lost and stuck. Actually im sure I have written a blog post in the last month about it. Coming home has made me realize that yes I wear my heart on my sleeve but it also made me realize that I am almost the same girl who left almost two years ago to start over. Almost being that I am so much stronger. It took every experience I had here to make something better. I needed to come home and be grounded to know that I won't be stuck forever. I can be happy.

Being home has been an adventure. I am grateful. I am thankful for the weird gut feeling I had three months ago to push my vacation up a month. Sometimes all you need is to come home remember your roots and get a nice little reality check.