I should’ve written this months ago. I should’ve realized months ago that nothing was gonna work out. Yet I still had hope that it was gonna work out. I still prayed every single day that at the end of the day you would choose me.
Now I realize that maybe I dreamt of this reality of you and me. That was my mistake. I had so many dreams about you and me, I thought that maybe it would work. Maybe at the end of this you would tell me that you’ve been feeling the same way the entire time.
I’ve waited and waited and I can’t do it anymore. It’s taken all of me to write this. It’s taken all of me to take off my necklace and push it to the side. I want to sell it but I’m scared and I don’t want to let go. Part of me thinks that maybe if I get rid of it then something will happen.
People tell me to give it time and that I should be hopeful. I’ve given it most of the time that I’ve had and it’s gotten me no where. I can’t wait around any longer. I loved you when I didn’t love myself. I keep trying to think of reasons why this didn’t work and I have a list but at the end of the day I’m still defending you when I shouldn’t.
Read this or not I don’t care. I am doing this for myself. I’m doing this so I can stop spending nights thinking about what if. I’m doing this to finally stop being sad about what is never gonna happen.
Maybe someday I’ll find someone like you and they won’t hurt me the way you did. Maybe I will not be haunted by the ghost of you. Maybe I can finally delete all the photos. I pray you find some happiness and peace in your life. I kinda hope one day you’ll realize what you did. I don’t expect an apology.
One day I’ll be fine. Until then, goodbye.
-Kyrsten
No comments:
Post a Comment