Nobody Said It Was Easy

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future and what it is going to bring.

I mean I am going to be out in a different state in 13 days what else would I be thinking about. Actually I have been reflecting on a whole bunch of stuff. Especially with everything that happened this summer.

You probably already know but I have a had a rough summer. I had to figure out who I was again after losing myself and I had to find my own independence. I had someone walk away when I thought they would never walk away. I fought hard for something that ended up falling apart. I fell in love and got my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was so heartbreaking. But I made it. It wasn't easy.

It took a lot of faith. When I think of faith I think of my favorite scripture in the Book of Mormon. Alma 32:21 "And now as I said concerning faith-faith is not to have a perfect knowledge; therefore is ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen,which are true." I cannot explain to you how many times that scripture has helped me in times of need. That scripture tells me that I need to have faith and that I can hope. Two things are so vital. I have so much faith that no matter how many trials I go through that everything will work out. I know by having faith that no matter how hard they are that I will survive. I will make it. It might not be the next day or the next week following it but at the some point I will look at myself and be like I am okay.

Recently I saw on one of my social media sites that someone I used to be super close with was having a rough time.At first reading that on his social media made me really upset. I was mad and I was like seriously? Then for some reason I felt the need to push it aside and figure out what exactly was going on. I texted him which took a lot out of me and asked him if he was okay. He told me that he wasn't and he went on to explain what was going on. He told me that he regrets almost every decision that hes made. Now when I think of that, I think the last six months and everything that has happened since then. At the same time my mind goes back to almost two months ago. When people make decisions, there's always the good and possibly the bad that occurs after. What I wanted to say to him was that I have made some really stupid decisions but instead I told him that just because you make some stupid decisions doesn't mean that you have to hate life.

I will be the first one to admit I have made some pretty stupid decisions. Go ask my parents and maybe some of my friends. They will probably talk your ear off about it. I mean yeah they sucked. I probably could have stuff so much different. I could have told this person how I felt this time or I could have said this to save something but I didn't. In a way that's made me stronger. Everyone makes mistake and Heavenly Father knows it.

This isn't an easy life. Heck sometimes I would like to run away and just go on a vacation but I know things happen for a reason. Maybe things don't work out the way. Maybe the guy breaks your heart. Or the girl moves on whatever(I should probably stop using relationship stuff as examples don't judge me).

As rough as this summer was, I don't regret anything that happened. I don't regret the heartbreak. I don't regret anything. I think we shouldn't really regret anything. Regretting is living in the past. Yes there are probably a million things that you could do differently. You could switch jobs or tell someone how you feel whatever but its all up to you.

Its your life to live and you have to enjoy everything while it is still here. That's what I have learned this summer along with a bunch of other things.

 If he reads this which I am kinda hoping he does fingers crossed I really want him to know that yeah life isn't easy. Yeah some of the decisions you have made have probably sucked that is your call. And I have been apart of those decisions nonetheless but its honestly what you make of it. You could try to correct some of those decisions if they ended up being mistakes. Just don't beat your self up over it. It happens. Life goes on if you let it. Dwelling in the past just causes you more pain. You don't need it.

Don't ask me how I got so inspirational today. I just felt the need to share whats in my head aka the point of my blog. And just to clarify, I don't think I know everything. I know that I still have so much to work on for myself but I am trying. I am only human and that is what counts.

Oh I got the title of this post from a coldplay song I was listening to right before I wrote this post. It also totally fits haha isn't that funny?

It's not easy but it wouldn't be worth it if it was.

-Kyrsten