Do you ever meet someone and just hope that they stick around for awhile? Or do you ever meet someone and just have a feeling that they are going to make such an impact on your life?
For awhile, I was just dead set on college. I was determined to just leave and get the heck out of here. Nothing else really mattered. I had my countdown and if you know me I checked it quite frequently. That hasn't really been the case lately.
Recently, things have been different. It hasn't been a bad kind of different don't worry. I have been a lot happier. I never thought something like this would happen. Remember when I asked the questions before? Yeah well something along those lines happened. Out of the blue someone made a huge impact on me. Talking about it is really weird because it's hard without just going into so many details probably none of you want to hear haha. But I promise it is nothing bad so trust me.
Actually there is something I can talk about. The timing of it is so terrible. Like by the time it all started I had like three weeks left. Now I have like nine days till I get on the plane and head off. I don't think ether one of thought this would happen. I mean as of a couple of weeks ago I was like Idaho. Everything is about Idaho.
Do not get me wrong at all when I am like oh my whole world was Idaho. I am still so excited to go. Idaho is the fresh start I have always wanted. I am so excited to go to school with kids who have the same values as me. I am super excited to live next to the temple and just remind myself on a daily basis of how my goal is to get married in the temple. Maybe not the one in Rexburg but you get what I mean. But I think I realized that Ohio maybe isn't that bad of a place as I would like to complain. Idaho is the future. Ohio isn't. Ohio doesn't suck as much as I sometimes like to think haha but I mean it will always have a special place in my heart. I mean I have lived here for the last 18 3/4 years so.
I am going to be leaving so many people here when I leave. I am not going to being seeing someone for five months till he gets to go out there. Honestly? It is so heartbreaking. The timing with him is super bad as I have said before. But I really don't regret it at all. I have loved being able to laugh and smile as much as I have in the last two weeks or so. I'm gonna miss him alot. It has been something really fun.
I have always believed in the saying that everything happens for a reason. I think I have said that to probably many of you guys. But I don't think I really believed in it until now. There is a reason why the timing of everything sucks. There is a reason why he came into my life a couple of my weeks before I had to leave.
As much as I totally hate it, I think I am finally coming to terms with it. I don't regret going to school over a thousand miles away from Ohio. I cannot tell you how excited I am to learn everything I need to learn to become a journalist. I don't regret realizing how important it is not to have a huge wall up for someone. The one thing that I have learned about myself recently that it takes me beyond forever to open up to someone. That it unreal aha. But lately it has become easier and I guess he is a good reason for that and I thank him for that. He is pretty special ya know haha.
I have been trying to figure out how I feel about everything since Thursday and heck it has been hard. I even tried to blog yesterday and I got really irritated with myself cause nothing really came out. I was like seriously I can usually blog about everything and anything like why. I was actually a little bummed out too.
But writing this today has kinda turned on a light for me. These past two weeks have been such an adventure and I have loved almost every minute of it. It was so worth it. It was worth late night FaceTimes and me not getting any sleep. Hanging out till super late and me pulling a six hour shift right after(do not recommend especially if you got like no sleep the night before). I don't regret any of it honestly. I have opened up more in the past couple of weeks than I have in such a long time.
I have to have faith and hope that things are gonna work out in my favor. If it doesn't work out then it is what is. I mean yeah ill be sad but at least I tried. That is what matters in the end. Everything happens for a reason.
Whatever happens happens I guess. Thats my logic for awhile. We shall see how that goes.
Until then or next time!
-Kyrsten
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