Do you ever meet someone and just hope that they stick around for awhile? Or do you ever meet someone and just have a feeling that they are going to make such an impact on your life?
For awhile, I was just dead set on college. I was determined to just leave and get the heck out of here. Nothing else really mattered. I had my countdown and if you know me I checked it quite frequently. That hasn't really been the case lately.
Recently, things have been different. It hasn't been a bad kind of different don't worry. I have been a lot happier. I never thought something like this would happen. Remember when I asked the questions before? Yeah well something along those lines happened. Out of the blue someone made a huge impact on me. Talking about it is really weird because it's hard without just going into so many details probably none of you want to hear haha. But I promise it is nothing bad so trust me.
Actually there is something I can talk about. The timing of it is so terrible. Like by the time it all started I had like three weeks left. Now I have like nine days till I get on the plane and head off. I don't think ether one of thought this would happen. I mean as of a couple of weeks ago I was like Idaho. Everything is about Idaho.
Do not get me wrong at all when I am like oh my whole world was Idaho. I am still so excited to go. Idaho is the fresh start I have always wanted. I am so excited to go to school with kids who have the same values as me. I am super excited to live next to the temple and just remind myself on a daily basis of how my goal is to get married in the temple. Maybe not the one in Rexburg but you get what I mean. But I think I realized that Ohio maybe isn't that bad of a place as I would like to complain. Idaho is the future. Ohio isn't. Ohio doesn't suck as much as I sometimes like to think haha but I mean it will always have a special place in my heart. I mean I have lived here for the last 18 3/4 years so.
I am going to be leaving so many people here when I leave. I am not going to being seeing someone for five months till he gets to go out there. Honestly? It is so heartbreaking. The timing with him is super bad as I have said before. But I really don't regret it at all. I have loved being able to laugh and smile as much as I have in the last two weeks or so. I'm gonna miss him alot. It has been something really fun.
I have always believed in the saying that everything happens for a reason. I think I have said that to probably many of you guys. But I don't think I really believed in it until now. There is a reason why the timing of everything sucks. There is a reason why he came into my life a couple of my weeks before I had to leave.
As much as I totally hate it, I think I am finally coming to terms with it. I don't regret going to school over a thousand miles away from Ohio. I cannot tell you how excited I am to learn everything I need to learn to become a journalist. I don't regret realizing how important it is not to have a huge wall up for someone. The one thing that I have learned about myself recently that it takes me beyond forever to open up to someone. That it unreal aha. But lately it has become easier and I guess he is a good reason for that and I thank him for that. He is pretty special ya know haha.
I have been trying to figure out how I feel about everything since Thursday and heck it has been hard. I even tried to blog yesterday and I got really irritated with myself cause nothing really came out. I was like seriously I can usually blog about everything and anything like why. I was actually a little bummed out too.
But writing this today has kinda turned on a light for me. These past two weeks have been such an adventure and I have loved almost every minute of it. It was so worth it. It was worth late night FaceTimes and me not getting any sleep. Hanging out till super late and me pulling a six hour shift right after(do not recommend especially if you got like no sleep the night before). I don't regret any of it honestly. I have opened up more in the past couple of weeks than I have in such a long time.
I have to have faith and hope that things are gonna work out in my favor. If it doesn't work out then it is what is. I mean yeah ill be sad but at least I tried. That is what matters in the end. Everything happens for a reason.
Whatever happens happens I guess. Thats my logic for awhile. We shall see how that goes.
Until then or next time!
-Kyrsten
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Nobody Said It Was Easy
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future and what it is going to bring.
I mean I am going to be out in a different state in 13 days what else would I be thinking about. Actually I have been reflecting on a whole bunch of stuff. Especially with everything that happened this summer.
You probably already know but I have a had a rough summer. I had to figure out who I was again after losing myself and I had to find my own independence. I had someone walk away when I thought they would never walk away. I fought hard for something that ended up falling apart. I fell in love and got my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was so heartbreaking. But I made it. It wasn't easy.
It took a lot of faith. When I think of faith I think of my favorite scripture in the Book of Mormon. Alma 32:21 "And now as I said concerning faith-faith is not to have a perfect knowledge; therefore is ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen,which are true." I cannot explain to you how many times that scripture has helped me in times of need. That scripture tells me that I need to have faith and that I can hope. Two things are so vital. I have so much faith that no matter how many trials I go through that everything will work out. I know by having faith that no matter how hard they are that I will survive. I will make it. It might not be the next day or the next week following it but at the some point I will look at myself and be like I am okay.
Recently I saw on one of my social media sites that someone I used to be super close with was having a rough time.At first reading that on his social media made me really upset. I was mad and I was like seriously? Then for some reason I felt the need to push it aside and figure out what exactly was going on. I texted him which took a lot out of me and asked him if he was okay. He told me that he wasn't and he went on to explain what was going on. He told me that he regrets almost every decision that hes made. Now when I think of that, I think the last six months and everything that has happened since then. At the same time my mind goes back to almost two months ago. When people make decisions, there's always the good and possibly the bad that occurs after. What I wanted to say to him was that I have made some really stupid decisions but instead I told him that just because you make some stupid decisions doesn't mean that you have to hate life.
I will be the first one to admit I have made some pretty stupid decisions. Go ask my parents and maybe some of my friends. They will probably talk your ear off about it. I mean yeah they sucked. I probably could have stuff so much different. I could have told this person how I felt this time or I could have said this to save something but I didn't. In a way that's made me stronger. Everyone makes mistake and Heavenly Father knows it.
This isn't an easy life. Heck sometimes I would like to run away and just go on a vacation but I know things happen for a reason. Maybe things don't work out the way. Maybe the guy breaks your heart. Or the girl moves on whatever(I should probably stop using relationship stuff as examples don't judge me).
As rough as this summer was, I don't regret anything that happened. I don't regret the heartbreak. I don't regret anything. I think we shouldn't really regret anything. Regretting is living in the past. Yes there are probably a million things that you could do differently. You could switch jobs or tell someone how you feel whatever but its all up to you.
Its your life to live and you have to enjoy everything while it is still here. That's what I have learned this summer along with a bunch of other things.
If he reads this which I am kinda hoping he does fingers crossed I really want him to know that yeah life isn't easy. Yeah some of the decisions you have made have probably sucked that is your call. And I have been apart of those decisions nonetheless but its honestly what you make of it. You could try to correct some of those decisions if they ended up being mistakes. Just don't beat your self up over it. It happens. Life goes on if you let it. Dwelling in the past just causes you more pain. You don't need it.
Don't ask me how I got so inspirational today. I just felt the need to share whats in my head aka the point of my blog. And just to clarify, I don't think I know everything. I know that I still have so much to work on for myself but I am trying. I am only human and that is what counts.
Oh I got the title of this post from a coldplay song I was listening to right before I wrote this post. It also totally fits haha isn't that funny?
It's not easy but it wouldn't be worth it if it was.
-Kyrsten
I mean I am going to be out in a different state in 13 days what else would I be thinking about. Actually I have been reflecting on a whole bunch of stuff. Especially with everything that happened this summer.
You probably already know but I have a had a rough summer. I had to figure out who I was again after losing myself and I had to find my own independence. I had someone walk away when I thought they would never walk away. I fought hard for something that ended up falling apart. I fell in love and got my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was so heartbreaking. But I made it. It wasn't easy.
It took a lot of faith. When I think of faith I think of my favorite scripture in the Book of Mormon. Alma 32:21 "And now as I said concerning faith-faith is not to have a perfect knowledge; therefore is ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen,which are true." I cannot explain to you how many times that scripture has helped me in times of need. That scripture tells me that I need to have faith and that I can hope. Two things are so vital. I have so much faith that no matter how many trials I go through that everything will work out. I know by having faith that no matter how hard they are that I will survive. I will make it. It might not be the next day or the next week following it but at the some point I will look at myself and be like I am okay.
Recently I saw on one of my social media sites that someone I used to be super close with was having a rough time.At first reading that on his social media made me really upset. I was mad and I was like seriously? Then for some reason I felt the need to push it aside and figure out what exactly was going on. I texted him which took a lot out of me and asked him if he was okay. He told me that he wasn't and he went on to explain what was going on. He told me that he regrets almost every decision that hes made. Now when I think of that, I think the last six months and everything that has happened since then. At the same time my mind goes back to almost two months ago. When people make decisions, there's always the good and possibly the bad that occurs after. What I wanted to say to him was that I have made some really stupid decisions but instead I told him that just because you make some stupid decisions doesn't mean that you have to hate life.
I will be the first one to admit I have made some pretty stupid decisions. Go ask my parents and maybe some of my friends. They will probably talk your ear off about it. I mean yeah they sucked. I probably could have stuff so much different. I could have told this person how I felt this time or I could have said this to save something but I didn't. In a way that's made me stronger. Everyone makes mistake and Heavenly Father knows it.
This isn't an easy life. Heck sometimes I would like to run away and just go on a vacation but I know things happen for a reason. Maybe things don't work out the way. Maybe the guy breaks your heart. Or the girl moves on whatever(I should probably stop using relationship stuff as examples don't judge me).
As rough as this summer was, I don't regret anything that happened. I don't regret the heartbreak. I don't regret anything. I think we shouldn't really regret anything. Regretting is living in the past. Yes there are probably a million things that you could do differently. You could switch jobs or tell someone how you feel whatever but its all up to you.
Its your life to live and you have to enjoy everything while it is still here. That's what I have learned this summer along with a bunch of other things.
If he reads this which I am kinda hoping he does fingers crossed I really want him to know that yeah life isn't easy. Yeah some of the decisions you have made have probably sucked that is your call. And I have been apart of those decisions nonetheless but its honestly what you make of it. You could try to correct some of those decisions if they ended up being mistakes. Just don't beat your self up over it. It happens. Life goes on if you let it. Dwelling in the past just causes you more pain. You don't need it.
Don't ask me how I got so inspirational today. I just felt the need to share whats in my head aka the point of my blog. And just to clarify, I don't think I know everything. I know that I still have so much to work on for myself but I am trying. I am only human and that is what counts.
Oh I got the title of this post from a coldplay song I was listening to right before I wrote this post. It also totally fits haha isn't that funny?
It's not easy but it wouldn't be worth it if it was.
-Kyrsten
Saturday, August 22, 2015
About me!
Hello new readers old readers. For the new readers of my blog I decided I should tell you about myself in a post(twice in one day is rare don't get used to that) so this post is just gonna be a little bit about myself expanded from the little description thingy.
My name is Kyrsten Leake. I am 18 years old. Soon to be 19 in January but im not really counting down just kidding. I currently live in Mount Vernon Ohio but soon I am moving to Rexburg, Idaho. I am going to be attending Brigham Young University-Idaho majoring in Communications with an emphasis on Journalism! I someday want to be a journalist traveling around the world covering international stories that type a thing.
I come from a medium size family. I have two brothers and three sisters! I have a dog named Lilly and a finch named Bruce(but if you ask my dad his name is Harry).
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I think that is very important to tell everyone because I will be probably talking about the church a lot and my faith. The church is everything to me. I am a firm believer in the church and its teaching. My favorite scripture well I should say scriptures are Alma 32;21 and D%C 4:2! Yet I wont judge you just because you aren't a member I am really open to people with whatever religion or whoever the heck they are. I like friends and new people! Just don't hate on my religion.
If you are ever curious about what what I believe mormon.org and lds.org are some pretty cool websites to check out! Or just ask me. That would be cool too.
Oh I plan to hopefully serve a mission for the church someday! That would be super cool and sweet. Missionaries are the reason why I have such a strong testimony of the church. I would love to make the same difference in someones life as a missionary like the missionaries who have served in my ward I have mine! Missionaries are kinda my best friends so if i reference them thats why.
Um...I am really weird and awkward sometimes and my posts tend to be a little long so if you don't like really long posts then don't really read my blog but I kinda hope you do anyways.
I am only 4 foot 10 inches tall so yeah I am super short haha.
I also really love music and scriptures so if there are any references to any of that thats why.
Oh ill leave you with my social media! Twitter:@kyrstenleake instagram: same as twitter! If you want to follow me on ether then thats totally fine. Don't be a stranger to leaving comments or sharing my posts. Actually that would be super cool because feedback would be nice.
I am hoping to blog about my experiences at college and my faith. I am also trying to be positive because things have been so negative lately on the news and just in general.
Well I think this is long enough. If anyone wants to know more just ask!
-Kyrsten
My name is Kyrsten Leake. I am 18 years old. Soon to be 19 in January but im not really counting down just kidding. I currently live in Mount Vernon Ohio but soon I am moving to Rexburg, Idaho. I am going to be attending Brigham Young University-Idaho majoring in Communications with an emphasis on Journalism! I someday want to be a journalist traveling around the world covering international stories that type a thing.
I come from a medium size family. I have two brothers and three sisters! I have a dog named Lilly and a finch named Bruce(but if you ask my dad his name is Harry).
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I think that is very important to tell everyone because I will be probably talking about the church a lot and my faith. The church is everything to me. I am a firm believer in the church and its teaching. My favorite scripture well I should say scriptures are Alma 32;21 and D%C 4:2! Yet I wont judge you just because you aren't a member I am really open to people with whatever religion or whoever the heck they are. I like friends and new people! Just don't hate on my religion.
If you are ever curious about what what I believe mormon.org and lds.org are some pretty cool websites to check out! Or just ask me. That would be cool too.
Oh I plan to hopefully serve a mission for the church someday! That would be super cool and sweet. Missionaries are the reason why I have such a strong testimony of the church. I would love to make the same difference in someones life as a missionary like the missionaries who have served in my ward I have mine! Missionaries are kinda my best friends so if i reference them thats why.
Um...I am really weird and awkward sometimes and my posts tend to be a little long so if you don't like really long posts then don't really read my blog but I kinda hope you do anyways.
I am only 4 foot 10 inches tall so yeah I am super short haha.
I also really love music and scriptures so if there are any references to any of that thats why.
Oh ill leave you with my social media! Twitter:@kyrstenleake instagram: same as twitter! If you want to follow me on ether then thats totally fine. Don't be a stranger to leaving comments or sharing my posts. Actually that would be super cool because feedback would be nice.
I am hoping to blog about my experiences at college and my faith. I am also trying to be positive because things have been so negative lately on the news and just in general.
Well I think this is long enough. If anyone wants to know more just ask!
-Kyrsten
Change is Good!
Disclaimer: I made a new blog even though the post says I am going to make a new blog this is it! Sorry for the confusion!
This summer has been a handful full of firsts and lasts.
The last summer before Istart my new life. The first time I had to really had to convince myself that walking away was the best option.
I spent the summer falling in love and then learning that sometimes its not meant to work out. I learned that people constantly walk in and out of your life. I also learned that some secrets are best not kept. I spent the summer constantly that my faith and hope is one of the only things keeping my afloat sometimes. I spent the summer recovering from knee surgery.
Lately, I have been going through the battle of why? Why is this happening? I keep going back and forth between do i want to take this chance and possibly have consequences or just stay in my shell and hide away. Taking chances is an interesting one. Sometimes I am so good at taking chances. Just ask me about what happened January-July.
Im one of the last people of my high school graduationclass thats still around waiting for college to start. Well I should say the last of my class to be going away for school and still around town. It is honestly one of the worst feelings. I have seen pictures and pictures of my classmates "Its move in day! Blah blah blah" And I am sitting at my house with some of my stuff packed and scrolling through my instagram feed because netflix got boring and my siblings are all at school. As you can tell I am not very patient. Haha
Lets beclear for a minute. Life is good here at the moment. If everything works out then it is gonna making September 7th harder than it will be. I am going to miss soooo many people in Ohio. The list is so long. I really don't want people to assume that I just want to get the heck of town and just go to college. Okay I'll admit I have those days where I am like take me to the nearest airport and let me go to Idaho. But in reality I still have so much to do here.
Haha talking about still having to do stuff here in Mount Vernon, I even have a date with someone! Isn't that something? Its been awhile since that has happened. I am super excited for that and im really curious to see how things go. He's not a bad guy hopefully haha just kidding just in case he's reading this ya know. But its new and exciting and no I am not sharing any details with anyone so.
This summer has been full of change which is insane. Al Carraway is an LDS speaker and an author and a blogger and her latest blog post is practically inspiring me to change the entire way I blog. Actually I am about to switch my whole blog stuff after this. I love her completely! Yes she is an LDS speaker but thats not the point of why I love her. I love her because she is so honestly about how she lives. She is not afraid of the world and what she does. She is firm in her beliefs and she is an inspiration to me as a blogger.
So? Im changing my blog completely. Im gonna make a new blog! (With this post.) And I am not gonna bore you all completely with my everyday life and my rants. Okay maybe the occasional rant and the update of my life. I am gonna try to be more uplifting and more inspirational. And yes I am probably gonna mention my faith a lot because honestly? Without my faith in the gospel I would be nothing.
I am excited for myfuture in general. I am beyond excited to explore my new blog with everyone who wants to take the time to read it.
Thanks in advance!
-Kyrsten
This summer has been a handful full of firsts and lasts.
The last summer before I
I spent the summer falling in love and then learning that sometimes its not meant to work out. I learned that people constantly walk in and out of your life. I also learned that some secrets are best not kept. I spent the summer constantly that my faith and hope is one of the only things keeping my afloat sometimes. I spent the summer recovering from knee surgery.
Lately, I have been going through the battle of why? Why is this happening? I keep going back and forth between do i want to take this chance and possibly have consequences or just stay in my shell and hide away. Taking chances is an interesting one. Sometimes I am so good at taking chances. Just ask me about what happened January-July.
Im one of the last people of my high school graduation
Lets be
Haha talking about still having to do stuff here in Mount Vernon, I even have a date with someone! Isn't that something? Its been awhile since that has happened. I am super excited for that and im really curious to see how things go. He's not a bad guy hopefully haha just kidding just in case he's reading this ya know. But its new and exciting and no I am not sharing any details with anyone so.
This summer has been full of change which is insane. Al Carraway is an LDS speaker and an author and a blogger and her latest blog post is practically inspiring me to change the entire way I blog. Actually I am about to switch my whole blog stuff after this. I love her completely! Yes she is an LDS speaker but thats not the point of why I love her. I love her because she is so honestly about how she lives. She is not afraid of the world and what she does. She is firm in her beliefs and she is an inspiration to me as a blogger.
So? Im changing my blog completely. Im gonna make a new blog! (With this post.) And I am not gonna bore you all completely with my everyday life and my rants. Okay maybe the occasional rant and the update of my life. I am gonna try to be more uplifting and more inspirational. And yes I am probably gonna mention my faith a lot because honestly? Without my faith in the gospel I would be nothing.
I am excited for my
Thanks in advance!
-Kyrsten
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