Review of 2015

2015 is almost over what. Really? Yes.

Im still alive and such grateful for that very much so.

It has been one heck of a year.

Graduating, moving over 1000 miles across the country, dealing with my new found independence.

I also dealt with somewhat surviving my first semester of college and not having family super close

I wouldn't change anything that happened for the world.

I mean yeah there has been some not so great moments this year. I am not going to lie. This year has been so eye opening.

But. I have never been so firm in what I believe in. I have realized that giving up isn't an option. I have realized just because someone says that they love you doesn't mean you are the only person they are saying that too. It also doesn't mean that they are gonna stick around forever too. People change and promises are broken.

One thing stays the same.

The fact that I still have the gospel and my best friends around me still.

I honestly would not have survived without ether one of those things. They have heard me rant and rave about the stupid boy and my homesickness. They get food with me whenever and enjoy the temple trips I ask them to go with me on.

I can't really complain about anything that happened this year.

It hasn't been too bad.

I have grown so much in the gospel and I have never been so thankful for that.

I am grateful for all the opportunities that I have had this year. Whether its been through church or school or just whatever it has been amazing.

I am so beyond excited for what 2016 brings!

Bring on whatever you want me to take on!

Until 2016!

-Kyrsten

2 Years

My timehop today reminded me that December 8th was a special day.

Two years ago, it was just a Sunday.

Not just any Sunday well depends on the person.

To me, I was an angry sixteen year old being dragged back to Church for the first time in four years.

Wasn't I in for a treat?

I was angry and mad at the entire world for something that was out of my control. I had to move an hour away from everything I knew.

Who knew that the gospel would be all I need?

I went in that Sunday thinking it was going to be terrible. All these crazy people trying to get me to do something that I didn't believe in anymore.

I left that day happier than I had been in a long time.

In the past two years, I have served as a primary teacher and laurels president in my ward. I have made great connections with some missionaries who actually all but three are home. Funny thing right?

I have grown a testimony in the gospel that saved my life.

I currently attend Brigham Young University-Idaho which is a church school.

 No one ever saw that coming. If you would ask the now return missionaries if they ever thought I would return back to church they would laugh at you. I told them I was never going back.

Hence, the angry sixteen year old.

The past two years have been the craziest two years. No they have not been easy.

I have spent days crying and being angry but never as angry as I was two years ago.

I have been through trials and such but I know that He is there listening to me and guiding me.

He loves me. He has a plan for me.

I have to thank my parents for making me go to church two years ago. My life would never be the same.

I have realized that having faith is such an important thing. He is always there for us. He is the light in the darkness.

I am so thankful for the gospel and the second chance at life it has given me. It has blessed me in more ways than anything. Hey it gave me my best friend and I wouldn't change that friendship for the world. I am very thankful for the missionaries who didn't give up on me or my family for that part ether.

I am not perfect but no means. But I am so thankful that someday I can return to Him.

I wouldn't change the last two years to save my life.

I am not the same person I was two years ago. Reflecting back on it, I was very bitter and mad.

I still have bad days and rough patches but I get through it with faith and hope that it will make me stronger.

I love this gospel. I don't have the best testimony of the world but I strive to learn more so it can grow.

Two years really make a difference. Just go ask any return missionary.

-Kyrsten

Trials and Tribulations

What is the first thing you do when you realize you are facing a trial?


Do you get on your hands and knees and pray? Or do you just try to figure it out by yourself and face it.

I am not gonna lie, I have done both.

In reality it is so hard.

It is hard for the fact that sometimes the trial you have just swallows you up and you feel so lost and like nothing is going to go right. You just want to give up.

In some sort way, there is a light in that tunnel.

Faith is such a key aspect in realizing that things get better and something good comes out of trials. You become such a stronger person when you go through a huge trial.

This semester has been the craziest eye opener for me. I have learned how to develop a huge testimony of faith and hope especially with the trials that I have faced this semester.

Faith is one of the biggest things that we need to develop. It is important to know that He will always be there for us no matter what we go through.

Sometimes it is hard to have a little faith but turning to Him in our times of need is so important.

I have grown such a huge testimony of faith in the last couple of weeks. I have dealt with some pretty crazy stuff and a few stupid people along the way but I always pray about what I can do better and about His plan for me.

It brings me such comfort that He listens. I believe everything happens for a reason and that we just have to find a little light in every terrible situation no matter what is going on.

Things get better. It may not be today or even tomorrow but they always do.

-Kyrsten

BYUI and Beyond

The semester is almost done and over with so I decided I should make some blog post.

It's weird but good at the same time.

I came to BYUI in September scared and with some tiny testimony that I had to build on my own because inactivity was all around me and that was the last thing I ever wanted.

I moved over 1000 miles away from everything I had ever known and that excited me and scared me all at the same time.

I thought oh this is gonna be easy. Yeah well I was wrong.

I also had the next two years planned out. First do a semester of school. Then serve a mission. After I come home get married in the temple. Simple enough right?

Heavenly Father laughed at my face and decided that other things were in store for me. I started going to the temple regularly and just praying constantly if everything that I was doing was right.

I hit a rough patch in my faith when I was told that I wasn't meant to serve a mission. I had spent the last two years preparing. I even took a mission prep class. Getting the answer no was probably the most difficult thing to hear.

I did eventually come to terms with it. It is hard especially when some of your close friends are going on missions and you are stuck where you are at.

I have really discovered my purpose of being here. Of course it is to get an education. I love being a communication major. It is challenging but I love writing and learning about the styles and being challenged.

I needed to become closer to Christ. Coming from an inactive family it is so hard. I love my family more than words but having that be an constant argument really puts a damper on how you see things.

I would envy families who all go to church together and are all active. Heck, I still do a point.

I have learned I don't need my family to build my own testimony. I love this gospel more than words. It has saved my life many years ago and I will forever be grateful for it.

I realized that someday when I settle down with my own family that they will have the gospel and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that we will go as a family. They will know that their parents love them and want them to feel the same joy that they do when they live the teachings of the Church.

This semester has not been easy. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to throw in the towel and be like bye BYUI im done. I will never forget the blessing I got right before I came out here. The words, "He is your constant companion. He has a plan for you."

I'm probably only sane because of the wonderful friends I have made in the last couple of months and the couple friendships that I have strengthened recently.

I love BYUI and I am thankful to attend this university.  It has given me a new outlook on life and the future ahead. It has brought me much closer to my Father in Heaven and I am so grateful for it.

Never Give Up!

-Kyrsten

Endless Miracles

I know I had a post like Sunday but who cares right?

I have a firm belief that everything happens for a reason. I know for a fact that we each have a unique plan that our Father in Heaven has for us.

Why did He not want me to serve a mission after telling me that I was going to go for months and months? Especially after two mini missions and me almost starting my papers. He has a plan and slowly I am seeing that.

My best friend called me out on my feelings yesterday and it really tested me in more ways in one. Hello he doesn't need to know how I feel. He has like ten weeks left no thanks. Then he made me tell him.

Clicking the send button after telling him was the most nerve wracking twenty minutes. I was like freaking out because losing him would suck.

He has literally been my support system this semester. He has made sure I have stayed completely sane and he is my connection to the Great Ohio!

So when he told me that he felt the same way oh man.

Things never work out for me. I have been praying about this single things for months. And ive gotten the same answer for months.

Be patient the time will come.

Well hello friends I only have to wait ten weeks.

Now you are probably like okay why the heck is this a miracle.

Because for the last week or so everything has been falling into place. I have been feeling the Spirit more. I have been listening to promptings more. I am also getting my patriarchal blessing soon.

I haven't been this excited and happy about things in awhile. Things are finally falling into place. It is insane!

I don't think I can go into detail of how excited I am about the future. It is so bright and full of joy.

I am so thankful for this gospel. It brings so much joy and happiness to my life. I want to end with a scripture that means a lot to me and it just describes how much love I have for this Church. 

2 Nephi 31:20-21 from the Book of Mormon says, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen."

I love you all and I am so glad that you guys support me with my blog! Thanks for everything!

Until next time!

-Kyrsten

Utah, Utah, and Thanksgiving

It has been a crazy couple of weeks. With school and the semester winding down(I am almost done with my first semester of school what) and Thanksgiving. I am alive and well don’t worry!

  

Life has been pretty hectic. I was so stressed that I was just crawling to break.

Heavenly Father has kinda had a field day with me the last couple of weeks. Trials are not my favorite things. Learning from them on the other hand is another story. Miracles happen though and I am so grateful for that.

I have so much to say that I don't even know where to begin haha.

I really really wanna talk about my recent trip to Utah hence the title.

I am so thankful for the Youngs for letting me stay with them from Wednesday through Today. It was great to be in a family setting again. They also reminded me a lot of home and my own family and I basically got adopted this week so I mean no harm there.

Utah is so beautiful. I am so in love with the mountains. I love the fact that every couple cities there is a temple and lots of church buildings.

I got the opportunity to go to the Brigham City Temple yesterday! I brought 15 names out of the roughly 42 I have reserved to get done. I did five myself and then had a family friend do the ten boy names including both of my grandfathers which made it so much more special.

I got to check another temple off my list. I have a goal in life to visit every single temple in the United States. I want to visit the grounds and do a session there. I have done sessions in three temples and visited four temple grounds.

A cool part of my trip is that in the temple right before I did baptisms is I saw a now return missionary who served in Mount Vernon. That was pretty sweet to see him especially since he lives in Brigham. He was just as excited to see me as I was him. I loved catching up for a couple minutes or so.

Blessings happen! I am so thankful for my trip to Utah this week. It was such a stress reliever and it truly opened my eyes.

Now unto the crazy miracles. Let a lesson be learned not to ignore promptings. You will get a huge slap in the face for sure.

When your best friend asks you for girl advice and then proceeds to tell you that he told someone else he likes them it kinda isn’t fair especially when you can’t really tell him anything… so being mad at him from a distance works.

Well when Heavenly Father decides to teach you a lesson on forgiveness it is the biggest slap in the face ever. I got into a situation a week or so ago where someone did me wrong over something really dumb. I was angry and mad at this person especially when they were close to me.

I had this feeling that I was supposed to be excited for Monday. Behold, forgiveness is funny when your best friend gives you so many reasons not to be mad at him. You also then realize how the stupid situation was meant to put you in the right direction.

Things worked out. I forgave him and I am forgiving her.

I guess my miracle is that if I didn’t have that dumb situation happen then I wouldn’t realize what Heavenly Father really wanted me to do and focus on. If I have to wait for it then I will so wait for it patiently.

This gospel is amazing. Don’t ignore promptings! He will answer your prayers! Patience is key. I got to go to the temple and church and I wasn’t even in Rexburg this week. Blessings happen!

I am thankful for so much! I would just annoy you all if I listed everything.

Sorry this is so long! I promise I won’t go weeks without blogging again!

-KyrstenhH

Grief

Recently I have come across more grief than I have wanted to deal with for awhile.

A girl I knew from my high school was ran over by a car and died from her injuries. I knew her. We dated the same guy at different points. At some points I didn't like her. But no matter what she was always so happy. She was smiling.

She had so many friends and family members that just adored her and loved her unconditionally. My heart breaks that she is gone. I can't imagine it.

My hometown is just shattered because she touched the lives of so many people.

No matter if I personally got along with her or not, her death brings so much sorrow and grief. My heart breaks for my friends who are affected by this. I was mad at myself for a long time for being mad at her for something now pointless.

Life moves on. I have learned to not be so angry with people especially over stupid stuff. I have learned to never let a moment pass by. Always tell the people around you how much you love and appreciate them.

I can't take anything for granted anymore after that. I know what I want in life and you bet I am going to go after it 100%.

I am going to try to better myself too. I am going to work on myself so I am not angry and sad over little stuff anymore just for her. She deserves it.

It is funny because thinking about it, I could've been friends with her because of one thing but I let my pride get in the way and I let myself be mad over it.

I won't mention her name in this post only because I just think its fair not to.

I have been thinking about her and everything the last couple of days and I wish I got to say I'm sorry.

Grief sneaks up on you when you think you are okay. It is so unfair what happened to her. Gosh she was just a year younger than me and was going to graduate high school in just a matter of months. She was gonna grow up and get married someday and yet she got hit by a car and died.

I am so thankful for my friends and my family who put up with me. I am thankful that they listen to my random stories and talk about the same thing over and over again.

I realize I shouldn't be ashamed of how I am crazy for some guy 1000 miles who's wearing a white shirt and a black name tag. (not a huge shocker there but lets be real) and who knows what is gonna happen there but gosh I am not gonna be 80 something years old being like oh I never told him. Now don't think I sat Sunday night writing him an email telling him. Besides my whole world changed Sunday night and his pday got changed to Wednesday because of transfers so ha.

Haha good try friends.

Nope. That won't be until after February or maybe May idk thats still up in the air. He will know sometime if he doesn't already have some suspicion  but can't tell me.

Anyways, I am going to live my life to the fullest and I have her to thank for inspiring me to change my outlook on life.

I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you why but I can't. Just know that everyone here loves you so much and misses you. It is so unfair. I can't change what I've said or how I have acted but I promise you that I will work so much harder to be better. Rest in Peace friend<3

Sorry this is super personal today. I really needed to just get that off my chest. Death isn't easy for me at all especially under certain circumstances but I have had a great support system and great friends and I am forever thankful for it.

-Kyrsten

My Views on the LDS Church Policy

As many of my readers know, I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are also known to many people as Mormons.

The Church recently updated its policy on families in same-sex marriages. Desert News has reported that, “The handbook now includes being in a same-sex marriage under the definition of apostasy and as a circumstance that requires the convening of a disciplinary council. The handbook also clarifies that the ordinance of naming and blessing a child may not be performed for children living with a parent in a same-gender relationship.”

It is known throughout the Church that children cannot get baptized until they are eight years old. That age being the age of accountability.

It is also said that, “The handbook addition also states that "a natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting," can only be baptized, confirmed, ordained to the priesthood or serve a full-time mission with approval from the Office of the First Presidency. A mission or stake president may request approval and determine that: "the child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the church, and specifically disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage"; and "the child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage."

I have seen numerous articles about this and I have also seen numerous reactions on social media and even in one of my classes today I have seen reactions from fellow classmates.

What runs through my mind when I think of this is how important families are. There is a primary hymn that comes to my mind. It is called “Families Can Be Together Forever”. The lyrics that come to my mind at this moment are as followed, “Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father’s plan.”

I cannot wait to have my own family one day. I think it is a wonderful gift to have families.

Why would we disrupt a family? Families are meant to live in harmony, peace, and love.

I believe in forever families. I wouldn’t want to put anyone’s family in danger. 

I am sure that no matter your stance on this issue that you wouldn’t want to put anyone’s family in danger.

It is a very hard and raw topic but in ways it needs to be addressed. It breaks my heart to see people fight and argue over this.

Never forget that the Lord loves His children. He has a plan for each and every one of us and knows us. We have to also be reminded that He knows what is best for us and has our best interests at heart.

 I may not understand why ­­this policy has changed but regardless I stand with the Church and the Prophets and Apostles who lead our church so wonderfully. They are called of God and will lead us and guide us if we let them.

I love this Church and the Gospel with all my heart. I have prayed to know that the Gospel is true. I sustain the leaders of the Church and I support them

If you don’t agree with my faith and my opinion please respect it and if you have any questions please feel free to leave a comment and ask.

-Kyrsten

Desire to Serve

*If you are super confused by this blog post please click on the link: my maybe call to serve   *

Most of my friends are ether doing one of three things: 1) on their mission 2)preparing for a mission 3) leaving on a mission.

Me?

Not doing any of those three.

Two of my closest friends have recently bonded at the fact that they are both probably gonna be on their missions by this time next year. It kinda hurts to not feel apart of the group in that sort of way.

I got my answer during last general conference that I shouldn't go right now. The Lord has other plans for me. Never thought I would be so disappointed in an answer.

I wanted to go serve basically since I reactivated two years ago. At one point I was going to not even attend my second semester of college just so I could go.

Ever since I got my answer, I have been kinda struggling to figure out why. All my friends are going or have come back. My best friend has three months left on his mission and then he's home and I am still here in Idaho trying to figure out my life.

Now, this isn't some sob story. I wish I could be out serving or turning in my papers like so many others but I am trying to deal the fact that maybe I am meant to go and it kinda sucks.

It is hard. I am not going to lie to anyone when I say it is a struggle to one day be like oh I am gonna start my papers and then have the feeling of how maybe this isn't what I am meant to do.

So many close friends say how wonderful a mission is and how it is the best decision of their lives. I bet. I have loved seeing my best friend grow since the beginning of his mission and I can't wait to see the progress when he goes home.

That doesn't mean that I am not going to go give up. Heavenly Father has a plan and I have to accept it. I can't give up when I have so much going for me.

Until next time!

-Kyrsten

Gratitude

Lately I have been thinking a lot about Gratitude.

In whatever I do, it just goes back to that. Gratitude means the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Simple right?

So why does this matter and why am I spending an entire blog post about it.

Someone told me the other day how I was just a ray of sunshine. At first I was just a little school girl and was like aw that is one of the cutest things you could say to someone. Okay lets be real who wouldn’t want to wake up to something like that especially on a Monday. Not the point.

I don’t know it just got me thinking a lot about gratitude and what it means to me and how it has shaped me especially the last couple of months.

Things have not been busy. With classes and getting a job and finding free time and finding the perfect balance to survive has been one of the hardest things to do. Honestly though? I am making it work one step at a time. And if I didn’t have a great support system then I would probably be drowning in a black hole.

I have a best friend who has literally become my rock throughout the last two months. He takes time to email me and write me and to make sure I haven’t gone completely insane due to college. I give him props for dealing with my weird self on a weekly basis. He is pretty great.

I was pretty blessed with this semester. Even though I live on a hill that sometimes makes me want to claw my eyes out I still love it. I got lucky especially the fact that I have my own room when I wasn’t supposed to. Hello like that is lovely. I also don’t have too much of a heavy class load. I mean my visual media class sometimes makes me want to jump off a cliff but that’s another story for another day.

I am beyond lucky to have a job. Finding a job was probably the most stressful thing ever. I applied to a good four or five places and got a job at a place I was familiar with. My coworkers are cool and my boss is a trip to be around.

Heavenly Father has me at a decent place. I mean yes I would like some answers to some questions that I have. Patience is key and that is a fun little game Heavenly Father is teaching me currently. Especially when I am very impatient and I just want to figure everything out.

I am happy with what I have in front of me. Yes I am very excited for the future. I am very curious on where things are going to go but I mean I can’t plan every detail out as much I would like. I would like to know but I guess I am not to meant to know right now and I am going to be okay with it.

I am thankful for all of you whether I directly or indirectly mentioned you in this post. Thanks for sticking around in my crazy adventurous life.  ­­­­­­­

Until next time!

-Kyrsten