Why I Didn't Report

With Dr. Ford coming out and sharing her story and what happened with Judge Kavanaugh I would like to share a story.

As many know, I was raped May 18, 2017. I remember how when I told him I didn't consent, he told him because I was still and quiet I consented. I remember how he was drunk and the way he pinned me down. The way that still to this very day I extremely anxious to this day about motorcycles because he loves them. I remember going to the doctor after being in excruciating pain for days on end only to find out that I was severely bruised from forced entry. I will never forget the anxiety attack I had when they gave me a shot with a needle the length from my wrist to my elbow to make sure I didn't have an STD.

I didn't report. I didn't come forward to anyone outside of my immediate family and friends for months.

Why?

I was scared. I was scared that I was gonna sit in a courtroom and lose. I was scared that I was gonna tell someone outside of my family and they would look at me and tell me it didn't happen. I was scared that I would constantly relive the worst night of my life so I could get justice.

Dr. Ford like many victims most likely spend years and years scared and alone with this secret. I bet it was when it was announced that Justice Kavanaugh was nominated, it brought back feelings and motivated her to come forward. She finally felt like she was going to get justice and it got shoved back in her face.

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center states that 63 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to police. Sixty Three. People who are sexually assaulted do not want to speak out because of cases like Dr.Ford.

My rape was the worst day of my life. I didn't report so I could save myself from more emotional damage than I already went through. It is damaging and it makes you feel like a terrible person.

Dr. Ford did what was best for her. She like many victims was not believed and that is exactly why people like me didn't want to report.