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I have literally been trying to write a blog post for dayss.

Recently, I have done a lot of "spring cleaning" on social media. I have unfriended and blocked people who to me are ether toxic or make me feel negative. Honestly, it feels fantastic. I don't have to look at people's post who make me ether angry or just bring negative feelings into myself. Best decision I have made in awhile. I even unfollowed people on instagram and twitter just because again I didn't wanna see their posts.

I also started this diet where I don't really eat junk food or sweets. Anyone who knows me, knows i adore chocolate and candy and just most junk food. I cut that out of my system so I could lose a little bit of weight and just feel better. It is so much easier than I thought it was gonna be. If I eat any at all, I limit myself. For example at work yesterday, I adore Subway cookies. I mean who doesnt? I ate one and a bag of chips and I didn't eat anymore even though I was hungry and they looked so good. I honestly went to Shaw's and bought some watermelon for dinner cause I mean fruits and veggies are healthy and I adore watermelon.

It came to my attention that I have been officially living in the Green Mountain State for the last FIVE months. I am only excited because I can see the whole 180 that I have done mentally and emotionally since I have first moved here.

When I first moved here, I was overly depressed and sad and I just didn't want to do anything. I left my siblings and the life that I had there. I was honestly scared to leave the doctors that i had there who had my back. I honestly am so in love with Vermont.

Vermont to me has become a place where I am figuring out who I am and who I want to be. It feels amazing. I have a decent amount of friends and I am happy(even on my depression days). While here, I have lost friends who I thought would stick around forever in my life and honestly I was super sad at first and now I am just like if you want to leave there is the front door. You could honesty say I have developed a chip on my shoulder but in reality I have just learned to stick up for myself and not hide.

I've learned so much about what people I want and deserve in my life. Yes, I am talking about dating. It is a pain in my butt. I've dated people, got my heart broken, and learned to say goodbye to the blue eyed boy who obviously doesn't want to be in my life. I won't lie when I say I haven't cried about it but everything is a lesson. God has a plan.

I am not gonna lie and say that sometimes it sucks to know that I don't know exactly what God has planned for me. I am calm in knowing that everything happens for a reason.

I am doing okay. My mental health isn't 100% and I don't think it will be for awhile but I am working on it. I can't lie and say I am magically healthy. There are some days when I realize that I can't do it and that is okay. I am stronger than my illness. I have learned again what happiness and excitement. If I work towards things in my life then they will happen.

I am not the same person who left Ohio five to six months ago. I am someone totally different and I am finally okay with it. Figuring out who I am and what I want is the one of the most exciting things going on in my life. Yeah, there might be tears along the way and some negativity but I can handle it.

Always yours,
Kyrsten