Happy Monday well almost Tuesday.
It has been such an off day. I've have this nasty cold where I have slept so much. My dad and I had a slight scare of me not having my psych meds. We found out my psychiatrist even though he promised while I was here in Vermont that he would fill my meds claims that he never said that so he refused to fill them.
Luckily that nasty cold of mine seemed like the flu so I went and got checked out and urgent care wrote me a script of my psych meds for the next week while I sort it out with my primary care doctor back in Ohio.
I have had a lot of heartbreak lately. Between the ex that came back and the boy who switched his mind in the matter of hours its been a crazy week or two.
I was ranting to one of my close friends and I told him that all I wanted was to be happy and he said that I wouldn't find happiness in another person. I realized that is sorta what I have been doing lately. I have been drowning myself in my own sorrows and letting people then and expecting me to be happy because they are in my life.
I am going to find happiness by changing the negative things in my life. I have a hard time letting go. Like recently that ex who came back was the same ex that ghosted me in February only to ghost me again last weekend. What did i do? Call him and got his voicemail.
Another situation that is kinda my current situation is that there was this guy from work and hes cute hes a little bit younger than me and we basically closed the store on Monday and we spent hours just teasing each other. So weve been talking for a week and we were gonna go on a date and see where things go. Nope he canceled on our date and then told me that he doesn't think I am the person for him. Okay buddy. It kinda just sucks because I've thought he was cute for like ever and I knew in the back of my hand that I would never get a chance.
Life is life. I have some really hopeful news that I am not ready to share because nothing is set in stone. Just know I am okay. I am alive and trying to kick butt in life before it kicks my butt.
I am trying to make the best out of each situation. For once, I am gonna focus on me and only me. I am hanging in there. Not gonna give up.
-Kyrsten
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