Recovery

I have never ever been open about my personal struggles.

Whenever it was mentioned, I would just mention how I went through a huge rough period of my life and that was it simple as the fact.

But heck I am so proud of myself for the strides I have made in the last two years.

I had a hard time opening up to someone recently about myself and such. It was rough. I did not feel good enough at all. It tore me apart.

I was talking to my friend about it and I was like I have come so far to come up short. He told me how proud of me he was for everything I have accomplished in the last two years.

I was so miserable a couple of years ago. I kinda hated most things that existed. I wasn't happy with myself or how my life was going.

Then the gospel happened and I am happier than ever.

I could be happier. I have so much to work on myself. I need to be more patient with myself and I need to learn to let people in. Oh man that is a struggle.

This is so hard to actually write out but it needs to be said.

I used to be afraid of my scars and afraid of my past. I am scared that maybe I will get judged for what I went through years ago.

But you know what. I am so proud. I never thought I would be blogging about my recovery. There was a tweet awhile ago about recovery and I felt a prompting to share about my recovery. That was the first step honestly.

It is so scary to talk about it. I don't want anyone's pity because I am publicly talking about it. I also don't want people to think I am doing it for attention. I am doing it because I need to do this for myself.

I had to look at myself this morning and tell myself that I was good enough and that I am worth it. Someday ill able to go into much more detail about it and be more comfortable.

Today I am comfortable with sharing that I have been self-harm free for two years.

It is crazy in what happens in two years but it gets better. Recovery isn't easy. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I still have days where I am sad and it sucks so much. But it is the best decision that I ever made in my life.

It gets so much better. Don't ever forget that you are worth it and you are good enough.

-Kyrsten