Blogging iPhone style

WHAT IS UP

it has been almost a month since my last blog post and I’ve been dying literally dying(just kidsing) to blog for y’all. So here I am blogging.

You guys are probably confused on why my blog title is the way it is i an blogging from my iPhone due to the fact that I’ve been dying to blog forever but hey STORY TIME.

So remember my really crappy roommate? So I moved out from that place and I was supposed(key word) move into another place like ether the week after or later on in the week. I don’t remember bear with me. Anyways I sent the landlord the deposit and I was supposed to get the keys move in and bam give her the rent the following week when I got paid from both jobs. Well the landlord then magically decided they(this gets better) needed it NOW so I cried and scrambled to get the money and I sent it to them only to never hear from the couple again. I called and cried and texted and cried and cried some more and nothing. So there’s the shorten version of how I got scammed out of $1000.

So I stayed with two friends. I spent one night with one friend and the other night with the other and so on. I became super depressed and suicidal because I just wanted my own place. I am so thankful for my friends but there’s only so much you can handle by living out of two bags while your stuff is stored with one friend and you get anxious about where you are sleeping that night.

So I tried to find a place to live and it sucked between one of my jobs became highly toxic at the same time as me not having a place to live. No matter what I didn’t do anything right for my manager
She gave me dirty looks all the time and made me so anxious that I went to friends houses and cried. It also got so bad that I started having nightmares about work. My panic attacks also made a comeback. You see I would open all the time and I would be hella anxious on who would open with me. I almost cried of pure joy when it wasn’t my manager and when it was I could feel the panic in my body and all that went through my head was that I wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t do anything right. I remember clear as day I was working with people I liked and my anxiety was low and then my manager came in for a bit and I had a huge panic attack. I could feel the blush creeping on my face and I couldn’t breath and I almost threw up. It was a nightmare. I put in my two weeks as soon as I could because I was miserable. Between everything going on with my personal life and then the emotional drama I dealt with work I finally just quit. People who know me know I only quit one other job so this was rare but sometimes you just gotta put your mental health first.

Anyways after that drama, I had someone recommended I move up north so I expanded my search and prayed. I finally got the answer that I needed out of Montpelier as soon as possible as it become toxic full of lies and negativity and ex boyfriends who I saw all the time. I found a place twenty minutes north in a cute little town called Waterbury. This time the landlord was patient and we talked about me moving in two weeks after we talked and I’d have the money and he’d mail the keys and boom set. He sent me emails of the place and I checked it out and this time it seemed legit. So I transferred my one job to another store and was dead set on moving to Waterbury. Well when this week started I texted him and was like hey is this still a go blah blah blah. Usually he replies in a timely manner so I don’t need to worry. HAHAHA. Well he never replied

Literally.

Six texts one email and a very upset Kyrsten I was back at square one.


So every website I could try I signed up put an ad whatever. I was so desperate that I put an ad on Craigslist twice.  I waited and prayed and cried a little till I got a text from someone about a room in an apartment for just my price range I could move in when I needed too and the other people that weren’t gonna be livIng there weren’t coming back till the end of September so BAM. I was/am trilled. I’ve kept quiet about my soon to be place because I swear if I would talk about it something would happen. So I told my close friends about the possibility kept in contact with the landlord and here we are two days away from moving day. Well one by the time you all read this.

Oh one more thing that has happened so. I went to pick up my meds from the store I was so ready for them cause they are normally are refilled within like a week or two minus one of them but I was running out of meds and anti depressants are the reason why I’m alive basically. Well here’s the kicker. I applied or started to apply for Vermont health insurance since I’ve lived here forever and ya know I need to go see a doctor duh. Well anyways my ex roommate never got my mail no matter how many times I told him I was expecting something important. Probably because he was high abusing the cat drunk or all of the above. So I was like okay well I still have my Ohio insurance covering my meds until I move WELLL

Nope: my heath insurance ran out about two weeks ago. So I withdrawed from all my anti depressants and it is literal hell. I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. Get off psych meds safe and sound not cold turkey like I had too. I was sick forever on top of everything else.

Anyways, I don’t wanna jinx it but my life is slowly getting better. I have job interviews lined up. I’m gttting more stable with my anxiety(some days). I’m not so suicidal right now and I’m even gonna start heading in the right direction of going back to church. Just continue to pray for me.

I honestly wanna give a shoutout to all the people who have heard me complain and cry and get mad during the last three weeks. Shoutout to my best friend Shane who had let me crash at his place and fed me and hung out with me while I closed and needed a friend. Also thankful for all the people who have prayed for me lately. I’ve felt the prayers and the love and God has truly blessed me

Basically this has been the center of my life the last three weeks. Minus dating and other stuff I’m not  ready to talk about. Other blogs to come super soon when I’m actually not typing on my phone and on my laptop.

PEACE GUYS✌🏻

You’ll hear from me soon.

-Kyrsten