I recently got an Eeyore Onesie from Walmart. Actually, I am sitting in my bed wearing it trying to distract myself. (pics on my social media)
Anyways, I sent a picture to one of my friends being like "Am I cute yet?" His response was that Eeyore is sad and depressing.
Then it clicked in my head. Eeyore is me.
Lately, my depression and my anxiety has been through the roof that I am sleeping a lot more and getting super moody and I just don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. I haven't played the ukulele in a super long time and I also haven't written an article in weeks. My depression has been basically sucking my soul out.
Everyone is there for Eeyore. They give him love and support when he is just sad. I didn't realize how much I related to a Disney character in my life. I remember having this stuffed animal of Eeyore and it was one of my favorites.
Eeyore is sad and depression and I am sad and depressed. Life hasn't been the easiest in the last couple of months. Trying to figure out my place in this world while figuring out who I am while trying to keep my mental sanity has been THE hardest thing to do over the last two years.
Do I regret the last two years? Some of it. Do I miss it? I miss people but not some of the stuff I went through.
My depression is a very scary illness. I can be happy about one single thing only to hear something that breaks my heart and I dwell on it the rest of the day. It sucks. It leads to nights being spent in my bed instead of hanging out with friends.
I once have canceled on making plans with friends dozens of times due to "sickness" because I couldn't leave my bed or my house that day. I have purposely not answered phone calls due to the anxiety and the fact that I just don't wanna talk.
Life is so crazy and hard. In a way, we could all learn from Eeyore's example. Reach out to your friends who seem or are actually sad and depressed. Let them know that when they want to talk that you are there for them.
I always find comfort and joy in knowing I have good friends to talk to when I am feeling down.
Eeyore is forever my buddy! Enjoy the pictures of me and a onesie!
-Kyrsten
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Monday, August 28, 2017
Adjustment
Life has been hard and crazy but I'm here and I have never been so happy to be alive.
I am gonna update ya'll on a bunch of stuff.
As most of you probably heard from anyone close to me or him, I am no longer engaged. That broke off roughly one maybe two months ago. That was a hard pill to swallow. Actually, everything after that was super hard to swallow. After the broken engagement, we tried to repair our relationship and it wasn't healthy anymore. It was constant fighting about jealously and video games that we just decided to end it.
I made some really stupid decisions. Some I wish I could take back but it is what it is.
Anyways, I decided to put my mental health first for the most part. That sank for awhile. I was severely depressed and very anxious that I started having panic attacks. I had an awful panic attack roughly about a week and a half ago where I thought I was going to die. Not fun not at all.
I worked at Walmart for roughly two months or so but my depression took over and I spent many days in my bed ignoring the world which eventually caught up to me in terms of being unemployed.
I spent like two weeks ruining my sleep schedule actually destroying it and becoming more depressed because I had nothing to do. I felt guilt for my job and my relationship. I moved back in with my mom, where I am currently living. He moved on and I admit I did too. But it was always in the back of my mind.
I lost so many friends over that breakup that it really triggered more depression. I missed my friends and I felt as they choose sides and it sucked. I cried and cried and nothing really helped. My doctor changed my meds and we tried this time for a good combination with me going to all my therapies. Which honestly means spending days off being anxious for what whichever doctor has to say.
Finally, this last Friday, I had a meltdown which meant a trip to the ER in Mansfield to see if I needed to be admitted for a week of inpatient treatment. Luckily, after five and a half hours, a severe headache, and a visit from the hospital on call psychiatrist I went home at 1:30 ish.
The discharge nurse explained my chart. Yes, I have an anxiety disorder, yes I have panic attacks, yes I am depressed but one thing I didn't know existed was a disorder called Adjustment Disorder. I have been researching it because i never ever heard of something like that. The definition I found on google is, " a group of symptoms, such as stress, feeling sad or hopeless, and physical symptoms that can occur after you go through a stressful life event. The symptoms occur because you are having a hard time coping." THIS MADE SO MUCH SENSE.
I knew I was having a hard time coping with my broken engagement. Hello I was going to get married. My best friend broke up with me and made me move out our apartment together.
Treatment is basically therapy and just talking about how I feel. Luckily I have a wonderful therapist which honestly not until today I realized she is right about so many things.
I can't control people's actions. Yeah they may do really stupid stuff but I can't do anything about it. I can have a reaction but I can't act upon it if that makes any sense.
I am slowly putting my life back together. I started seeing this guy casually I met off a dating website(THEY ARE NOT ALL BAD) and honestly I can be myself around him. He is pretty special especially because he drives over an hour to see me a couple times a week. Dedication to him. He is great.
I am working on the relationships I have with people. Honestly, it is hard. Rebuilding trust that was lost or just trying to trust in general not the easiest thing in the world but I am working on it.
Life isn't the greatest but it isn't the hardest ether. I am honestly so so grateful for the friends who have stepped up and the friends I have made and my family who has my back.
I promise this won't be the last you hear from me.
I am gonna update ya'll on a bunch of stuff.
As most of you probably heard from anyone close to me or him, I am no longer engaged. That broke off roughly one maybe two months ago. That was a hard pill to swallow. Actually, everything after that was super hard to swallow. After the broken engagement, we tried to repair our relationship and it wasn't healthy anymore. It was constant fighting about jealously and video games that we just decided to end it.
I made some really stupid decisions. Some I wish I could take back but it is what it is.
Anyways, I decided to put my mental health first for the most part. That sank for awhile. I was severely depressed and very anxious that I started having panic attacks. I had an awful panic attack roughly about a week and a half ago where I thought I was going to die. Not fun not at all.
I worked at Walmart for roughly two months or so but my depression took over and I spent many days in my bed ignoring the world which eventually caught up to me in terms of being unemployed.
I spent like two weeks ruining my sleep schedule actually destroying it and becoming more depressed because I had nothing to do. I felt guilt for my job and my relationship. I moved back in with my mom, where I am currently living. He moved on and I admit I did too. But it was always in the back of my mind.
I lost so many friends over that breakup that it really triggered more depression. I missed my friends and I felt as they choose sides and it sucked. I cried and cried and nothing really helped. My doctor changed my meds and we tried this time for a good combination with me going to all my therapies. Which honestly means spending days off being anxious for what whichever doctor has to say.
Finally, this last Friday, I had a meltdown which meant a trip to the ER in Mansfield to see if I needed to be admitted for a week of inpatient treatment. Luckily, after five and a half hours, a severe headache, and a visit from the hospital on call psychiatrist I went home at 1:30 ish.
The discharge nurse explained my chart. Yes, I have an anxiety disorder, yes I have panic attacks, yes I am depressed but one thing I didn't know existed was a disorder called Adjustment Disorder. I have been researching it because i never ever heard of something like that. The definition I found on google is, " a group of symptoms, such as stress, feeling sad or hopeless, and physical symptoms that can occur after you go through a stressful life event. The symptoms occur because you are having a hard time coping." THIS MADE SO MUCH SENSE.
I knew I was having a hard time coping with my broken engagement. Hello I was going to get married. My best friend broke up with me and made me move out our apartment together.
Treatment is basically therapy and just talking about how I feel. Luckily I have a wonderful therapist which honestly not until today I realized she is right about so many things.
I can't control people's actions. Yeah they may do really stupid stuff but I can't do anything about it. I can have a reaction but I can't act upon it if that makes any sense.
I am slowly putting my life back together. I started seeing this guy casually I met off a dating website(THEY ARE NOT ALL BAD) and honestly I can be myself around him. He is pretty special especially because he drives over an hour to see me a couple times a week. Dedication to him. He is great.
I am working on the relationships I have with people. Honestly, it is hard. Rebuilding trust that was lost or just trying to trust in general not the easiest thing in the world but I am working on it.
Life isn't the greatest but it isn't the hardest ether. I am honestly so so grateful for the friends who have stepped up and the friends I have made and my family who has my back.
I promise this won't be the last you hear from me.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Welcome To Sunday
In the words of Brian Logan Dales, Welcome To Monday.
To me, it's Welcome to Sunday. Welcome to the fact that I am winning at least for now.
I fought the weekend war. Well at least most of it.
Lately, it has been a crazy couple of weeks where I didn't think I was gonna win. I had many meltdowns and breakdowns and situations where I just wanted to lay in bed all day and probably cry.
But I haven't.
I won today.
I went to church for the first time in months for myself. Not for the fact that people were like, "Go to the church. Go to church and your problems will be all gone." I went to feel better and to feel the Lord's love for me. Let me tell you going on Easter Sunday was amazing. We sang all my favorite Hymns and it just felt good to realize that I didn't care what others thought of me anymore. I am going for me(when I can thanks to work)
I'd like to announce this now but pictures are gonna come when it happens that I am getting my first tattoo. I am getting a semi colon butterfly in honor of mental health. It is gonna have all the colors that represent my mental health and whats going.
I am excited to get that tattoo to hopefully bring some awareness to Mental Health and to show other people they are not alone. Some Mormons do not get tattoos. We are advised to keep our bodies as temples. My body itself has been through hell and back especially recently. I am getting it as a reminder to myself that it is okay to struggle. My story isn't over and I am not gonna let it be over.
Also, I want to talk about 13 Reasons Why while I have everyones attention. 13 Reasons Why is a wonderful show. I love the actors and all the dynamics that go along with it. That being said, it is also very triggering. I found myself in a very tight spot on top of other things.
It personally brings awareness to suicide and self harm etc, but what angers me is the jokes that have recently come about this show. *Spoiler Warning* Hannah made those tapes to explain why she killed herself. Other people's actions influenced it. That should teach people to take their actions more seriously and just mental health in general more seriously. Not just making jokes about, "Oh someone did something." "Welcome to your tape."
Not what happened at all.
I am looking forward to the future and I hope I still have the love and support of my friends and family.
Also, Happy Easter.
Kyrsten
Saturday, April 1, 2017
My Name is Kyrsten
I've seen a lot of posts and videos of friends sharing their stories about mental illness and what not so I decided to share some more details about my mental illnesses and everything else.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Now I obsess my thoughts. I obsess with how people think of me and how they feel about me. I have to have things in a certain order. It also bugs me when things are not even. I got my diagnosis in June ish of 2016. I was shocked but it made sense. I remember sitting with my therapist and he was explaining this to me and I felt relief. I felt like I was finally getting answers about what was going on in my head.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Depression.
I officially was diagnosed with depression in May of 2016 while doing preparing to serve a mission for the LDS church. My doctor told me I wasn't mentally ready to go. I have struggled with depression for as long as I remember. I am a survivor was self-harm. I used to cut myself. I am clean as of a couple of months and I am proud. I am learning about my triggers and how to deal with them.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Anxiety.
This was diagnosed the same day I was diagnosed with depression. And honestly? It has been my worst nightmare. I struggle still so much with new people and dealing with situations I don't want to deal with. I used to at work and have constant anxiety attacks. It was terrible. I had to tell myself that it would be over and that it would get better. I am now on medication that controls my anxiety and helps a lot with my brain and how I think and feel. I give my medication so much credit because in a way I feel like I wouldn't have survived this whole process with them.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Anorexia.
This is hard. I recently got diagnosed with this. I have lost about 12-15 pounds in over two months. I have little to no appetite and I am scared to get fat. My doctor is worried about me and tells me I have to drink Protein shakes to attempt to get my appetite. It has been a little over two weeks since I have learned this and I have finally realized after looking at my weight after my weekly weigh ins that losing so much weight is so unhealthy. I hate my body more than I did when I had lots of weight. I currently weigh 92 pounds. Scary right? I should be about 100-105 pounds for my age and height. This disease has ruined my pleasure of food. For awhile, I would count calories and be like no I need to not gain a lot of weight but ill gain only a little. It didn't hit me that it was real until I sat down with my sisters almost in tears and told them I was sick and had Anorexia. My boyfriend and parents knew but I was still in denial. At first, it was constantly being told to eat and to keep eating and I didn't want to be forced to eat. I realize now that I need people to be like eat some food but at the same time don't get mad if I am not hungry. It is a scary disease. I am scared but I am facing it full force.
This is my story. I have an eating disorder and multiple mental illnesses. It's okay. I have comfort in my boyfriend and family and others who have inspired me to share my story. Mental illnesses are so real. I spend my days off ether at doctors appointments or mentally recovering from days before and mentally preparing for the day. It sucks. It sucks to cry all the time because your mind is all over the place. It sucks when you wanna hang out with friends but your depression and anxiety make you just wanna lay in bed all day and do nothing. I spend days sleeping or just watching netflix because I cant physically or mentally do anything else.
This isn't a pity story of the girl with issues. This is a story that I needed to share. I have realized I am not alone. So here is all of me in the worst and sometimes the best way I can offer.
Enjoy.
-Kyrsten
My name is Kyrsten and I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Now I obsess my thoughts. I obsess with how people think of me and how they feel about me. I have to have things in a certain order. It also bugs me when things are not even. I got my diagnosis in June ish of 2016. I was shocked but it made sense. I remember sitting with my therapist and he was explaining this to me and I felt relief. I felt like I was finally getting answers about what was going on in my head.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Depression.
I officially was diagnosed with depression in May of 2016 while doing preparing to serve a mission for the LDS church. My doctor told me I wasn't mentally ready to go. I have struggled with depression for as long as I remember. I am a survivor was self-harm. I used to cut myself. I am clean as of a couple of months and I am proud. I am learning about my triggers and how to deal with them.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Anxiety.
This was diagnosed the same day I was diagnosed with depression. And honestly? It has been my worst nightmare. I struggle still so much with new people and dealing with situations I don't want to deal with. I used to at work and have constant anxiety attacks. It was terrible. I had to tell myself that it would be over and that it would get better. I am now on medication that controls my anxiety and helps a lot with my brain and how I think and feel. I give my medication so much credit because in a way I feel like I wouldn't have survived this whole process with them.
My name is Kyrsten and I have Anorexia.
This is hard. I recently got diagnosed with this. I have lost about 12-15 pounds in over two months. I have little to no appetite and I am scared to get fat. My doctor is worried about me and tells me I have to drink Protein shakes to attempt to get my appetite. It has been a little over two weeks since I have learned this and I have finally realized after looking at my weight after my weekly weigh ins that losing so much weight is so unhealthy. I hate my body more than I did when I had lots of weight. I currently weigh 92 pounds. Scary right? I should be about 100-105 pounds for my age and height. This disease has ruined my pleasure of food. For awhile, I would count calories and be like no I need to not gain a lot of weight but ill gain only a little. It didn't hit me that it was real until I sat down with my sisters almost in tears and told them I was sick and had Anorexia. My boyfriend and parents knew but I was still in denial. At first, it was constantly being told to eat and to keep eating and I didn't want to be forced to eat. I realize now that I need people to be like eat some food but at the same time don't get mad if I am not hungry. It is a scary disease. I am scared but I am facing it full force.
This is my story. I have an eating disorder and multiple mental illnesses. It's okay. I have comfort in my boyfriend and family and others who have inspired me to share my story. Mental illnesses are so real. I spend my days off ether at doctors appointments or mentally recovering from days before and mentally preparing for the day. It sucks. It sucks to cry all the time because your mind is all over the place. It sucks when you wanna hang out with friends but your depression and anxiety make you just wanna lay in bed all day and do nothing. I spend days sleeping or just watching netflix because I cant physically or mentally do anything else.
This isn't a pity story of the girl with issues. This is a story that I needed to share. I have realized I am not alone. So here is all of me in the worst and sometimes the best way I can offer.
Enjoy.
-Kyrsten
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Life updates and Pregnancy??
So I felt the need to make this blog post for a numerous reasons.
First of all, please don't believe everything you hear.
Second, rumors most of the time are not true.
Third, I have a phone. Call me, text me, Heck even use facebook or any of my social media not my father.
Moving on, life has been life. I've been good. That feels good to say that. Recently I have had an increase of my anxiety/depression/ocd medicine and that has been a life changer. That and yoga has been a huge stress reliever.
I have to admit. I also have a great support system with my mom and my boyfriend that has made things a lot easier.
As much of you probably heard, I got cats! Two six(Probably like eight or nine now) month old cats who are my life and joy. Their names are Nemo and Merlin. Go stalk my instagram and facebook for pictures of my babies. They have spent my bad days cuddling with me and making me feel like I have a purpose in life and that I have a reason to live on days when I don't feel like I have one. They are the reason why I laugh and smile a lot more.
Anyways, lets get to what I really want to address on this blog post. So first I am going to come out and just be up front with this. I wanted to post a fake sonogram on April First to fool people I was pregnant. Now why would Kyrsten do this?
Well, as of Sunday night I got a call from my dad saying he got off the phone with someone asking him if I was pregnant. Lol what no seriously really? Yeah, true. There are rumors going around that I am pregnant and this rumor started roughly two months ago. So I am writing this post to enlighten you all.
Let me tell all, that I weigh the lowest I have since like middle school. I also wouldn't get pregnant at my age and I know better. Anyone who knows or cares about me would at least know me better that I wouldn't be that person. I have enough health issues that still need to be taken care of before I ever decide to get married and pregnant so that being....
I AM NOT PREGNANT NOR WILL I BE FOR A LONG TIME.
Oh also, I tag my boyfriend in baby stuff all the time because i love babies and I can't wait to be a mother someday and he hates the fact that I have baby fever
I don't know who started the rumor nor do I care. Just come talk to me. Seriously. I wasn't angry. I laughed. I was in the rumor mill for the first time since high school kinda fun.
But really, me being pregnant. Has anyone seen me in the last two months? I literally weigh nothing and dropped two pants sizes.
So other than that subject I needed to address, I can't complain. I have a great future coming up that I an so excited for and ready.
Life is good and I am ready to take it head on.
Yours truly,
Kyrsten
First of all, please don't believe everything you hear.
Second, rumors most of the time are not true.
Third, I have a phone. Call me, text me, Heck even use facebook or any of my social media not my father.
Moving on, life has been life. I've been good. That feels good to say that. Recently I have had an increase of my anxiety/depression/ocd medicine and that has been a life changer. That and yoga has been a huge stress reliever.
I have to admit. I also have a great support system with my mom and my boyfriend that has made things a lot easier.
As much of you probably heard, I got cats! Two six(Probably like eight or nine now) month old cats who are my life and joy. Their names are Nemo and Merlin. Go stalk my instagram and facebook for pictures of my babies. They have spent my bad days cuddling with me and making me feel like I have a purpose in life and that I have a reason to live on days when I don't feel like I have one. They are the reason why I laugh and smile a lot more.
Anyways, lets get to what I really want to address on this blog post. So first I am going to come out and just be up front with this. I wanted to post a fake sonogram on April First to fool people I was pregnant. Now why would Kyrsten do this?
Well, as of Sunday night I got a call from my dad saying he got off the phone with someone asking him if I was pregnant. Lol what no seriously really? Yeah, true. There are rumors going around that I am pregnant and this rumor started roughly two months ago. So I am writing this post to enlighten you all.
Let me tell all, that I weigh the lowest I have since like middle school. I also wouldn't get pregnant at my age and I know better. Anyone who knows or cares about me would at least know me better that I wouldn't be that person. I have enough health issues that still need to be taken care of before I ever decide to get married and pregnant so that being....
I AM NOT PREGNANT NOR WILL I BE FOR A LONG TIME.
Oh also, I tag my boyfriend in baby stuff all the time because i love babies and I can't wait to be a mother someday and he hates the fact that I have baby fever
I don't know who started the rumor nor do I care. Just come talk to me. Seriously. I wasn't angry. I laughed. I was in the rumor mill for the first time since high school kinda fun.
But really, me being pregnant. Has anyone seen me in the last two months? I literally weigh nothing and dropped two pants sizes.
So other than that subject I needed to address, I can't complain. I have a great future coming up that I an so excited for and ready.
Life is good and I am ready to take it head on.
Yours truly,
Kyrsten
Sunday, February 12, 2017
My Struggle with Religion pt.2
Disclaimer: *I wrote a basically less detailed version of this post so if you wanna check it out click on the link! Part One also this post is gonna be very open and honest
Life has been life. That is the best way to put it. I've recently been through a lot and it has kinda interfered with church and what not.
I believe in The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have for as long as I can remember.
It has just been ever since I was told I can't go on a mission it feels like everything to do with religion has fallen apart. All I wanted to do was to serve a mission and because of my mental health and physical health I can't. It sucks.
I've distanced myself from church. I've stopped going for the fact of judgement. I'm twenty and not married and most Mormons figure that if you don't go on a mission, it's time to get married. I'm not dating a member of the church and I've honestly seen a lot of backlash from that too. I've lost some goof friends because of that and other unrelated issues that are not going to be mentioned in this post.
I have three of my close friends serving missions, and everytime I hear from them it just warms my heart of what they doing. They are spending a year and a half to two years of their life dedicating their lives to the Lord. It is beautiful. I miss them terribly don't get me wrong. There are weeks where them being able to email back and forth for a bit is the only day I look forward to in a week.
It's always been a struggle with religion with me but it has been harder recently with the fact that being judged for some things that are out of your control I just can't really comprehend it. Why do it?
Now, I believe in God. I know that God has my back and I feel like I don't need to prove it to anyone else but my own.
I am slowly figuring out myself and how to better take care of myself and my mental state. It has been a challenge and it is something that I have found that I need to put myself first. It's perfectly okay to take a break from something that is negative and stressing you out.
That's advice that I have given other people who decided to take breaks from things like social media and etc but to me, right now its church. I need to figure out how to deal with the judgement and the fact that people really don't approve of me dating someone who isn't a member. So I mean it's gonna happen until I feel comfortable about everything.
Recently, my friend started his own blog and he is doing it to clear his head and to get his thoughts out.
So this is me getting my thoughts in better detailed what has been constantly going through my head recently.
Until next time!
-Kyrsten
Life has been life. That is the best way to put it. I've recently been through a lot and it has kinda interfered with church and what not.
I believe in The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have for as long as I can remember.
It has just been ever since I was told I can't go on a mission it feels like everything to do with religion has fallen apart. All I wanted to do was to serve a mission and because of my mental health and physical health I can't. It sucks.
I've distanced myself from church. I've stopped going for the fact of judgement. I'm twenty and not married and most Mormons figure that if you don't go on a mission, it's time to get married. I'm not dating a member of the church and I've honestly seen a lot of backlash from that too. I've lost some goof friends because of that and other unrelated issues that are not going to be mentioned in this post.
I have three of my close friends serving missions, and everytime I hear from them it just warms my heart of what they doing. They are spending a year and a half to two years of their life dedicating their lives to the Lord. It is beautiful. I miss them terribly don't get me wrong. There are weeks where them being able to email back and forth for a bit is the only day I look forward to in a week.
It's always been a struggle with religion with me but it has been harder recently with the fact that being judged for some things that are out of your control I just can't really comprehend it. Why do it?
Now, I believe in God. I know that God has my back and I feel like I don't need to prove it to anyone else but my own.
I am slowly figuring out myself and how to better take care of myself and my mental state. It has been a challenge and it is something that I have found that I need to put myself first. It's perfectly okay to take a break from something that is negative and stressing you out.
That's advice that I have given other people who decided to take breaks from things like social media and etc but to me, right now its church. I need to figure out how to deal with the judgement and the fact that people really don't approve of me dating someone who isn't a member. So I mean it's gonna happen until I feel comfortable about everything.
Recently, my friend started his own blog and he is doing it to clear his head and to get his thoughts out.
So this is me getting my thoughts in better detailed what has been constantly going through my head recently.
Until next time!
-Kyrsten
Saturday, December 24, 2016
2016 In Review
I'm alive well getting over strep but hey blogging world how is it going?
I haven't written a blog post since August and it is now Christmas Eve well probably Christmas Day or the day after by the time anyone gets to this post but not the point.
I can't believe 2016 is basically over! I always try to think of the year in review for my sakes and how next year can get better. In my opinion though, I loved 2016 while most people hated it. Yeah politics sucked and other things but life is life.
This year has been insaneee. I started it off in Idaho and will end it in Ohio. I started this year kinda scared of what was going to happen. I knew I was going to be taking classes winter semester and that ended up me coming home from school three months early.
In those three months, I started on some medications for my mental health issues. I started seeing a psychiatrist who I am thankful for. I realized that my mental illnesses don't defy me. I am still the same old me before I found out about these. I am the weird person who binges on netflix and loves food.
I sent some friends off on missions. Yeah, its hard. I never thought it would be so hard to send your best friend on a mission. Two years is such a long time. My friends are awesome. My closest friends are serving in Mexico City North, Temple Square, and Colorado Denver South. I am thankful that my really weird schedule of life still allows me to find the time to talk to them for a bit each week even if its one or two emails.
I've lost friends. Well I had a friend from my old high school that committed suicide. That was the closest I had been to a death in a long time. I cried for hours. It wasn't fair. It still isn't fair.
Ive had a few relationships this year. I almost got engaged. Lol funny but true. It wasn't meant to be. He is great. He deserves nothing but the best and he knows that for sure.
I met someone else who I'm still with. He is something special. He takes care of me when I need it. He is my best friend in the entire world. I don't know what I would do without him honestly. He makes me laugh and smile when I need to smile and drives me crazy all at the same time.
I have learned about life and love and how to take care of myself. I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Mental Health and finding the people worth being around is SO SO WORTH IT. I never realized how important it was to put myself first for once.
My advice to anyone struggling is so hang on. Life gets better trust me. As someone who suffers from OCD, Anxiety, and Depression. I understand.
I started the week of Christmas having Strep. Literally the worst thing in the world. I don't wish it on my worst enemy, I felt like death up until Thursday roughly. I'm still a little sick but im on the mend and I get to enjoy Christmas with my family so I am stoked.
I promise to everyone I will try to make more updates in the next coming year. If anyone wants to keep up with my writing I write for a website called The Odyssey through BYUI. Here is my profile :https://www.theodysseyonline.com/@kyrstenleake if anyone wants to look though my writings. I usually post a new article on Mondays and they will always be on my Twitter and Facebook pages.
I love you all!
Thank for the love and support this year.
Here is to the new year!
-Kyrsten
I haven't written a blog post since August and it is now Christmas Eve well probably Christmas Day or the day after by the time anyone gets to this post but not the point.
I can't believe 2016 is basically over! I always try to think of the year in review for my sakes and how next year can get better. In my opinion though, I loved 2016 while most people hated it. Yeah politics sucked and other things but life is life.
This year has been insaneee. I started it off in Idaho and will end it in Ohio. I started this year kinda scared of what was going to happen. I knew I was going to be taking classes winter semester and that ended up me coming home from school three months early.
In those three months, I started on some medications for my mental health issues. I started seeing a psychiatrist who I am thankful for. I realized that my mental illnesses don't defy me. I am still the same old me before I found out about these. I am the weird person who binges on netflix and loves food.
I sent some friends off on missions. Yeah, its hard. I never thought it would be so hard to send your best friend on a mission. Two years is such a long time. My friends are awesome. My closest friends are serving in Mexico City North, Temple Square, and Colorado Denver South. I am thankful that my really weird schedule of life still allows me to find the time to talk to them for a bit each week even if its one or two emails.
I've lost friends. Well I had a friend from my old high school that committed suicide. That was the closest I had been to a death in a long time. I cried for hours. It wasn't fair. It still isn't fair.
Ive had a few relationships this year. I almost got engaged. Lol funny but true. It wasn't meant to be. He is great. He deserves nothing but the best and he knows that for sure.
I met someone else who I'm still with. He is something special. He takes care of me when I need it. He is my best friend in the entire world. I don't know what I would do without him honestly. He makes me laugh and smile when I need to smile and drives me crazy all at the same time.
I have learned about life and love and how to take care of myself. I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Mental Health and finding the people worth being around is SO SO WORTH IT. I never realized how important it was to put myself first for once.
My advice to anyone struggling is so hang on. Life gets better trust me. As someone who suffers from OCD, Anxiety, and Depression. I understand.
I started the week of Christmas having Strep. Literally the worst thing in the world. I don't wish it on my worst enemy, I felt like death up until Thursday roughly. I'm still a little sick but im on the mend and I get to enjoy Christmas with my family so I am stoked.
I promise to everyone I will try to make more updates in the next coming year. If anyone wants to keep up with my writing I write for a website called The Odyssey through BYUI. Here is my profile :https://www.theodysseyonline.com/@kyrstenleake if anyone wants to look though my writings. I usually post a new article on Mondays and they will always be on my Twitter and Facebook pages.
I love you all!
Thank for the love and support this year.
Here is to the new year!
-Kyrsten
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